But I'm alone. I found ONE person I could open my heart to. It's not what THEY are, but what I am. I simply can't, it's against me. I feel so much pain. I feel so much anger. And I keep it all inside. It's a burden. Something hard to bear. And I can't open even to myself. I never manage to cry. It's so hard. I need something from outside to cry, to open. The last times have been thanks to a tv show. First, when I've seen their love. And I felt mine, clogged inside me. Then when it becomes clear he's dead. But when the sighs started I already knew, I wasn't crying for him. I was crying for myself. I'm dead without her. I have no meaning.
She is the one that allow me to open. TO take out what I have inside, to release the burden. TO speak my joy, passion, sadness and anger.
Without her I'm lost. I wish I could cry. It would mean I can be happy too. I would mean she is next to me.
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